Trusting Your Intuition
Have you ever had a relationship with a wonderfully, helpful professional (doctor, therapist, counselor, teacher, social worker, etc.), in whom you put great trust? Have you ever had a circumstance in which you disagree with that same professional? Did you ask yourself, “How can I doubt this knowledgeable person, who is so obviously respected in his field? Is it possible that I could actually have insight that he doesn’t?”

If you are a parent, the answer is probably “Yes.” And the fact of the matter is, that most professionals agree, being themselves parents.

All too often, we expect too much from professionals. We expect them to be all knowing and invincible, able to fix anything in our lives with minimal input from us. But what real live person can live up to that standard? Can you?

Rather than putting the professionals we entrust to care for our children up on pedestals; let us instead treat them respectfully as partners who are working with us toward a common goal. Yes, doctors, therapists, teachers, etc. have lots of specific education that you probably don’t. And most of them have a generous amount of experience in their field. And this is to be highly respected. But don’t forget, you have something just as valuable when it comes to your child - insight into his/her everyday world. You live with your child. You see your child in good times and bad. Happy moods, sad moods, tantrums and glee; they are all yours to share, observe, correct and/or cherish. So, why not work with professionals to create a well-balanced treatment, education, or therapeutic plan.

Parents are their children’s first line of protection, defense and advocacy. If we follow the suggestions and advice of the professionals while ignoring our own gut instincts, we are simply guilty of not doing everything we can for our children. The following examples were submitted by parents who followed their instincts in situations that could have ended up disasterously, instead, things are much better than expected.

Medical Example
Blake adopted his son on May 2002 from the Ukraine. Below is a timeline of events from his experience.

• April 26, 2002 - Adoption in Ukraine
• May 3, 2002 - Arrived Home in US
• May 10, 2002 - First Doctor Visit
  First round of medical testing – standard blood tests, tests for metals, and tests for intestinal parasites. All of the test came back as negative or within the normal range.
• August 2002 – Started ECI for language and developmental delays
• November 2002 – Had Luke’s hearing evaluated as possible cause of language delays
• February 2003 – Tubes put into ears to relieve fluid build-up and hopefully improve speech development
• October 2003 – Evaluation for Sensory Integration Issues
• November 2003 to Present – currently receiving weekly SI Therapy
• March 2004 – First evaluation by Developmental Pediatrician to consider possible diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder. The doctor does not feel that Luke is on the Autism Spectrum. Unfortunately, no additional lab testing was performed at this time.
• March 2005 – Re-evaluation by Developmental Pediatrician for same concerns as above. Again, no additional lab testing was performed. The doctor still does not feel that Luke is on the Autism Spectrum.
• April 2005 to present – Begin intensive weekly Speech Therapy visits with a therapist experienced with internationally adopted children and the issues these children have.
• August 2005 – At the recommendation of Luke’s Speech Therapist, Luke was evaluated by an Allergist MD who specializes in children on the Autism Specturm or with Pervasive Developmental Delays. A complete battery of blood, urine, and stool tests were performed. These lab tests were sent to specific labs that specialize in these types of test. (Not every lab can be trusted to perform such specific testing.)
  Results:
  · Metal toxicity for lead and tin
  · Massive yeast overgrowth in Luke’s system which affects his digestive and immune system
  · Positive results for intestinal parasites

These results can now explain why Luke was experiencing developmental issues, language delays, sensory integration issues, etc. Luke is now receiving chelation therapy to remove the heavy metals from his system. He has received treatment for the intestinal parasites. He is also on numerous mineral supplements, vitamins, and other supplements to help his digestive system health and to begin functioning normally. Since beginning all of these treatments, Luke is now a completely different child.

After more than three years home, they now have some specific medical diagnosis of what is causing some of Luke’s issues. Over this three year period, they kept having the feeling that something else was going on and could just never get any medical professional to make specific diagnosis. At the same time, other parents were encouraging him to continue searching for help as well. Blake feels that not only should he have trusted his instincts more; but, he should have trusted other parent’s instincts as well. Blake has learned that there is no one better than a parent to advocate their child’s health and recovery.

Recommended book by Blake: Children With Starving Brains: A Medical Treatment Guide for Autism Spectrum Disorder by Jaquelyn McCandless

Dental Care Example
Even dental care can vary from one professional to another. For example, one parent found that her child needed extensive dental work. The first pediatric dentist she took her son to wanted to perform surgery on her child. She visited another pediatric dentist to find that was willing to do the procedures one at a time over successive weeks right in the office. This suited her desires better as she felt it wouldn’t traumatize her child, who is sensitive to hospitals, as much as a surgery would.

Sensory Integration Example
David took his child to a therapist working in a well known clinic. For 1 year, the therapist worked with his son on mainly vestibular issues. It was determined that his son and would benefit from activities such as swimming, jumping on a trampoline, swinging, etc. After 1 year of therapy and over 2 years at home working in this way, some of the activities were found to actually have worsened the responses in the child. David and his wife both noticed that many of the activities suggested actually such as jumping on a trampoline. But they didn’t trust their own instincts. Instead, they continued on “hoping” things would get better. They even talked to other professionals who suggested that they hang in there. They happened to move to another city and they were forced to find a new SI therapist. When this therapist evaluated the boy, it was discovered that indeed their insights had been correct. Jumping on a trampoline was, in fact, worsening the behavior. Had they followed their instincts earlier, perhaps the professional they were working with before would’ve known to adjust treatment. With the new treatment plan, including some alternatives, such as eating pudding through a straw, doing push ups, eating chewy foods positive results were achieved with this child.

Talk to the professionals that work with your child. It is a good practice to interview pediciatricians. Find one that you are comfortable with and who has the interest in working with you for your child. One pediatrician might take into account immunizations given in a foreign country and another pediatrician might start over with immunizations when a child comes to America. Do your research and find out what is best for your child.

Parents know their children better than anyone else and need to be able to have their concerns heard by professionals. Find out the best situation, taking your child’s needs into account. Don’t be afraid or feel guilty about saying something if your gut is talking to you. Listen and act accordingly. Be an advocate for your child in all things. Follow your gut. What works for one child may not be the answer for your child and your family.

As parents, it is our responsibility to educate ourselves with challenges our children face. We as parents are ultimately responsible and need to take the time and effort to educate ourselves. Spend the time to research treatment options for your child. There is nothing more precious than your child.

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A Mother's Charm offers unique insight into adoptive parents experiences. We focus on sharing lessons learned and real-life examples with pre and post adoptive parents. Your experiences can help others. If you would like to share an experience on this topic for A Mother's Charm to use to help others, please send an email to information at motherscharm.org with a subject line reading "Trusting Your Intuition". No identifiable names will be used.

Articles like this are posted on motherscharm.org for the education of all.

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