A big part of any family is the proverbial “Family Tree”. One’s bloodline, their lineage, where your grandparents are from, this is a very common topic when people first are getting to know each other. For adoptees, this can be an extremely sensitive subject because many of us have found ourselves being the only one in a group who doesn’t know their nationality. I have often found myself in that very situation and have now turned it into a positive experience by asking people, “Where do you think I’m from?”

When I was younger and people asked me, “What nationality are you?” I would always tell them that I didn’t know and that I was adopted. It was surprising how many times their response would be “I’m sorry”, like there was some moment in my life that someone didn’t want me, or that I must somehow feel disconnected to my own past. In truth I always felt sorry for my birth mother because I’m pretty sure no woman has ever given up her own child, for adoption, without an enormous amount of pain and indecision.

I never understood why people would say that they “were sorry” because wasn’t it obvious, my parents had jump through many hoops before adopting me. Birth parents do not have to lay their whole lives out to be examined in order to bring a child into their lives.

Think about what parents who adopt a child have to go through. I’m guessing that most are unable to have children of their own; for any number of reasons, some of which probably involve pain, heartache and suffering. That emptiness, desire and void for the joy and fulfillment of a child begins a long and arduous process of adoption. First you have to figuring out how old, what nationality and can we afford this new child. Then come the concerns; What if something is wrong with the child? What if the child turns out bad and how do we tell people? All of these thoughts, plus the endless paperwork and background checks, I think all end in a natural filtration system where only the most desiring, dedicated and loving parents come shining through.

I always knew that I was adopted. My parents never hid that from me. I am very thankful for that decision. Since I never knew any different, I never had any regrets. My thoughts and opinions about my own adoption grew through love, security and trust. Had my parents waited until I was older to tell me that they were not my birth parents, I’m sure that would have opened a Pandora’s box of thoughts and psychological issues that I may never have understood or recovered from. Think about it, a person in that situation could all of a sudden wonder what else was not real, if not even their own parents.

I know I was wanted. Desperately wanted, loved, cherished and adored. All children should know that, feel that, reasonate with that and call it their truth.

(From Pasha, in his own words, after 6 months of being home from Russia.)

a family is great. because you have some body care about you. If you heart your mama or papa
take you to the doctor. You have attentens and love around You that you never wont
live this family. family is Very happy sound. Same kids don't have family and they wont
family badly that any one ask for child they said "take me home". I bean trow
that I wan't family badly when they said We foud You a family I almost
cried for happines I thank god for a biutiful family I got.

My story is not what you think. I did not adopt. I was adopted (or will be in one month). I am 19 years old and have moved from place to place since I was three years old in mostly abusive homes. I never got close to anyone and hated the world till I was 17 years old and met a wonderful lady. Donna in Pennsylvania took me in and gave me a chance at life which I was not willing to do. I was ready to give up since NO one believed in me. I was at the bottom.

Well now that I live with her I still have trust issues and was fearing that I was going to get kicked out. She asked me if she could adopt me so I know that I have a family and a home. Having one person believe in me changed my life. I graduated high school. I work as a mental health worker and I go to college full time. It is almost two years since I had to be hospitalized and I am almost off all medications. I live a normal life. People have no clue about my past life unless they knew me then or I tell them.

Waiting to 18 was great due to I did not need either of my parents permission who really were not in my life anyway. Changing my name is weird due to I had my last name 19 years but I wanted to start a new life with this amazing person who I now happily call mom.

I now have a home where I am not worried every night about where I am going to sleep tomorrow night. I finally feel like I belong somewhere.